Every person must one day in life face a simple fact. None of us are completely in control of our fate. There are many forces tugging us in every direction that we try to mold and shape in a life we feel worth living. Bad things happen. Good things happen. We struggle in hard times and we find hope in the little things that do go our way.
For the past year, I have been making significant physical progress with my health. My back has healed very well and I am able to do more and more each week. The pain that was a daily burden in my body is still there, but I have found ways to work around it, accept it and at times forget completely about it. My mind seems to be getting stronger and my spirit is gaining ground.
This year has been a year of surrender for me. I have had to surrender that I am not in control of the things around me, but I can change my attitude about things and keep fighting. Now that I can say that I have completely lost my old life and the things that used to define me, I have started over. Not just from a physical standpoint, but from an emotional and spiritual standpoint as well. I am trying to bring forth the best person that I can be, shedding the scars of the past. It is a process that I will write more about one day in detail. For now just know that it has been a painful and also a liberating process at the same time.
There are so many times in life where we have to let go of things that we once loved, people that we once loved and even places that captured our hearts. These things will happen to all of us throughout our lives. It is important that we take the time to let them go properly and say goodbye. Especially to the people that were a part of our lives and let them know how much we appreciate the good things we have learned from them and how they helped us to become better inside and out. If we don't take the time to do this and let go properly, life will eventually circle around and leave us with regret or emptiness from missing the opportunity to let go properly. I can honestly say that I have learned this the hard way and have been hit by that circle of life not cherishing those people, those moments properly. But I am realizing this and becoming more and more thankful for the smallest pieces of hope that past my way. For once, I am savoring every drop of hope that does come even if one day the flood gates of hope open and I drown in it. I will bask and not take one ounce of hope for granted. For it is that hope that has driven me this far. A hope that life is not finished with me yet by far and that there is a greater purpose beyond the journey I've travelled to this point.
Hope is a good thing, a very good thing. But hope only feeds what drives our purpose and that is passion. Purpose, Passion and Hope are the three things that define, sustain and keep us moving forward to a better life (*much more to come on this topic). It may be a life completely different than we imagined and the molding, breaking and building process is different for each one of us. Thankfully, not all of us have to endure losing everything to realize how we can find our purpose in life. I'd like to think that those of us that do lose so much have been chosen to do greater things if we allow ourselves to surrender to the process. I have fought this for so long thinking that I could become the man that I used to be on my own. I was wrong and I will never be that same man again. And this is a good thing. For I have seen my mistakes in life and I am still learning there is so much more that I can do. But I could only do this by totally surrendering the person I was before and all the things that I thought I had to control. Turns out I never really was in control of those things anyway.
So take a moment to be thankful for those little moments of hope. Whether it be something as great as a good day or a hug/smile from a friend. Maybe it is from old friends and family that support you and have never given up or a new friend that lifts your spirits and gives you greater hope. Live life with purpose, fill it with passion and above all keep hope alive that life can be a wonderful thing even if that means letting go and starting over. Don't dwell in disaster, failure or things you cannot control. Trust me, I have been in that pool and you can't swim in it, only drown. Never lose hope that good things can still happen even when all else is lost.