my journey and observations about life

Hope's Eve

I sit on the eve of another life changing event. I am well aware of it. Too aware of it. The details aren't important. This isn't the first time I've faced the eve of something like this so I've become somewhat of an expert at going through this. But that doesn't help at this hour, it only helps long before the news or dealing with the reality afterwards. 

I am intimately aware of the numbness, mourning and eventual surrender process that I will have to endure yet again. And I will. Not because I am greater than anything out there but it is because once hope has found your heart, you fight to never let it go. 

Hope is more than me. Hope is more than my daughters. Hope is about something within me that believes that all of this is for a reason beyond my understanding, beyond my comprehension. Through all of this, my solace, my comfort has been in that I can take this breaking and remolding process into helping others. I can take all of this darkness and shine my light. Each time shine this light brighter to show people a path away from the darkness that tries to extinguish all of our hopes. Without hope, we are lost. 

We all are always on the eve of a potential life changing event. We are just unaware. I have been through both forms of knowing and not knowing. When you know what is coming, it is better in a strange way. You have time to prepare for what you know may be ahead. When we are hit in the face with life, it is infinitely more painful. 

We should be aware of this. Not to constantly think about and be depressed about it. Because who wants to live in a world of depression?  I don't. But let this prompt you to at the very least pause and enjoy the moment you are in. Enjoy the wondrous gift of life. I'll say this for the rest of my life to everyone:  Life is beautiful. Explore the goodness within. 

Andy BarwickComment