Scars on 38

An amazing transformation from September 2011 to July 2015

“scars are stories
of how life could
not break apart
the hero inside.
• andy barwick
”

In September 2011, I had to make the toughest decision in my life at that time. I had developed unknown complications with a neuromuscular disease that was destroying my spine. I went from an avid exercise fanatic to a wheelchair within a matter of years. I was facing a decision of dying an agonizing slow death, dying on an operating table or stopping the progression. The distant hopes were that I would regain strength to walk again even if I had to use some type of assistance. 

When I look back at these pictures, I see the scar covered and the mass of titanium controlling the chaos underneath. I also see that picture from this Summer of 2015 smiling and active as a dad. A complete turnaround thanks to the best surgeon in the world, advances in modern medicine and learning to overcome tremendous adversity. 

The scar that remains is a reminder of who I was not the man I am. It reminds me of the beginning of a new journey facing the impossible and becoming a real father again. It reminds me of the constant pain and being able to practice pranayama to be able to stop taking pain meds voluntarily in 2013. It also sadly, reminds me of the loss of friends and my spouse that couldn't handle the rest of the journey. 

But those weeds have been pulled from my garden and the roots I hold close to my being are trusty and true. I live an extraordinary life of being able to do what most plan to do when they retire one day. I help others. I make nothing doing it. But I give everything I have to help others. After all, I couldn't have made it without the help of so many behind me. 

Never give up on the impossible, the improbable or delay what your heart is calling for. This is your life, explore the goodness within. ©